Four Little Letters

[what's brewing: steam or no steam?]

As hard as it is to believe that we are officially two full months into 2009, the fact is that 62 days have passed since I posted my New Year’s Resolutions . I have had some moments of success and many moments of disappointing failure in my quest to address the emotional depletion that leads to angry, hurtful reactions that surprise me even as they leave my mouth.

I am a firm believer in the expression, “All truth is God’s truth,” and in the past two months I have been learning from many truth-filled resources in addition to learning from his Word and through his Spirit. One of the truth-filled resources I’ve been encouraged by in the past 6 weeks is the Myers-Briggs personality type structures.

When I first took the Myers-Briggs I came out close to the middle on all 4 categories; after being married for a couple of years it became clear that I am an ISFJ*. It took the intimate exposure of living with another person to reveal some of the natural tendencies that I had self-regulated for so long that I almost didn’t even know they were there.

I find it somewhat unsettling to think that four little letters can describe me so accurately, but the profile of an ISFJ reads like an autobiography of my inner world. It captures many of my thoughts, motivations and challenges in ways I never would have been able to.

How is it that I am so easily quantifiable?

On the other hand, it is somewhat reassuring to realize that many of the struggles I face (and to be fair, many of the qualities that make me effective in my work) are natural outcomes of the way in which my personality is comprised. There is a structure to the way I’ve been created, and that structure is known by Him. He is glorified by certain elements of it, and He holds the power to redeem the broken pieces of it.

What has been particularly insightful recently has been the description of ISFJ’s in relationships with others. My mouth hung open for quite awhile when reading the description – I was reading verbatim excerpts of arguments Jason and I have had. And we found the same to be true when reading Jason’s description – verbatim accusations that I have thrown at him in moments of frustration.

In my quest to address my surprising outbursts of anger, I found great hope upon reading this:

It's a common problem for ISFJ's to not express their feelings until pushed to some limit, after which they explode in anger and say things which they later feel they shouldn't have said.

What’s hopeful about that, you ask? It was a moment of hope to realize that I may not simply be an angry missionary who can’t control her temper at the end of a day, but instead have a lot to learn about expressing my feelings earlier on to avoid reaching that point. This may seem like a simple task to many people, but for me it is a big step to start expressing my feelings early on.

Perhaps I have mistakenly believed that a “good Christian” can tolerate frustration, can hold her tongue indefinitely, or can selflessly endure disappointment without speaking up. Whatever the reason, I’m slowly learning to express my feelings as they come up. It doesn’t come naturally, and it doesn’t always go well. But it’s a step in the right direction for The Resolutions of 2009.

How are your resolutions coming along?

P.S. Interested in finding out your personality type? Try this free test and read more about your type here.

*Extraversion/Introversion; Sensing/iNtuition; Feeling/Thinking; Judgment/Perception.